If you are interested in firing up someone's mind without making it clear that you are trying to control them, you want to learn the technique of persuasion - but also to pay attention to its counterpart: manipulation.
When we are interested in making someone think as we do, we need to make sure that that person doesn't feel that they are under our control. There is, as you may know, a thin line between these two things: persuasion and manipulation. You need to focus on the first and avoid the latter.
When you persuade someone, you are getting that person to be influenced to do something for you. Manipulating someone, on the other hand, usually entails the use of dishonest means, and here the ends do not justify the proverbial means.
What differentiates persuasion from manipulation resides in a person's motivation. If you are an honest person using honest means, you are not going to be seen as being manipulative.
There are many devices of persuasion that do not get bogged down into manipulation. The first is to make sure you know how to say what you want to say. Just let people know what you want, what your goal is. Speak up. Share your ideas.
Have you always wanted a big birthday party? Tell your friends that this is something you need, that this would make you pleased. They'll get the message.
Second, did you know that your friends and relatives tend to echo your own values? Yes, if you are munificent, for example, they'll be munificent, too.
Also, listen carefully to what your friends or relatives are saying. See if you can tell whether they have wants or needs. This way you'll know whether there is something you could do to help them. Then when it's your turn to need something, they will be pleased to rise to the occasion.
Be sure you don't come across as the type of person that always needs something. If you socialize with your friends by sharing your abilities with them, you are doing the right thing. And you create enjoyable relationships by being simply yourself and not someone else.
Don't be the kind of person who is too fussy or hard to please; that way your friends or relatives will be unwilling to help you out when you need help.
If you are always frustrated when things don't go the way you want them to go, you won't be the fun person who is perceived as unselfish and therefore deserving of appreciation. So if anyone ever does something for you or gives you a gift, say "thank you" to show that you appreciate the gesture. This will show that you are capable of gratitude, and this will go a long way in your favor.
In the final analysis, do not remove yourself from the company of others. Remember the old song about people needing people; they are the happiest people on earth.
And never remove yourself from the company of others. There is truth to the fact that as people, we always need people.
If you keep in touch with people in accordance with the counsel given above, people are not going to burn the bridges behind them when you will be in need of their help.
In summary: people will be ready to do something to aid you when you are down and out provided you have not locked yourself away from them, and have followed the counsel given above.
There is really no arcane knowledge here: if you know the methods of persuasion, you will know how to put into words your needs and wants. Human nature is such that we all want to help and be helped, as the case may be.
Learn how to apply the techniques of persuasion to fire up a mind and make friends. Broaden your horizons. Don't be a conveyer of bad news.
When we are interested in making someone think as we do, we need to make sure that that person doesn't feel that they are under our control. There is, as you may know, a thin line between these two things: persuasion and manipulation. You need to focus on the first and avoid the latter.
When you persuade someone, you are getting that person to be influenced to do something for you. Manipulating someone, on the other hand, usually entails the use of dishonest means, and here the ends do not justify the proverbial means.
What differentiates persuasion from manipulation resides in a person's motivation. If you are an honest person using honest means, you are not going to be seen as being manipulative.
There are many devices of persuasion that do not get bogged down into manipulation. The first is to make sure you know how to say what you want to say. Just let people know what you want, what your goal is. Speak up. Share your ideas.
Have you always wanted a big birthday party? Tell your friends that this is something you need, that this would make you pleased. They'll get the message.
Second, did you know that your friends and relatives tend to echo your own values? Yes, if you are munificent, for example, they'll be munificent, too.
Also, listen carefully to what your friends or relatives are saying. See if you can tell whether they have wants or needs. This way you'll know whether there is something you could do to help them. Then when it's your turn to need something, they will be pleased to rise to the occasion.
Be sure you don't come across as the type of person that always needs something. If you socialize with your friends by sharing your abilities with them, you are doing the right thing. And you create enjoyable relationships by being simply yourself and not someone else.
Don't be the kind of person who is too fussy or hard to please; that way your friends or relatives will be unwilling to help you out when you need help.
If you are always frustrated when things don't go the way you want them to go, you won't be the fun person who is perceived as unselfish and therefore deserving of appreciation. So if anyone ever does something for you or gives you a gift, say "thank you" to show that you appreciate the gesture. This will show that you are capable of gratitude, and this will go a long way in your favor.
In the final analysis, do not remove yourself from the company of others. Remember the old song about people needing people; they are the happiest people on earth.
And never remove yourself from the company of others. There is truth to the fact that as people, we always need people.
If you keep in touch with people in accordance with the counsel given above, people are not going to burn the bridges behind them when you will be in need of their help.
In summary: people will be ready to do something to aid you when you are down and out provided you have not locked yourself away from them, and have followed the counsel given above.
There is really no arcane knowledge here: if you know the methods of persuasion, you will know how to put into words your needs and wants. Human nature is such that we all want to help and be helped, as the case may be.
Learn how to apply the techniques of persuasion to fire up a mind and make friends. Broaden your horizons. Don't be a conveyer of bad news.
About the Author:
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